~a princess away from her throne~

11.11.11.

Marianne Gilliam — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 07:13:19 +0000

I can simply remember every minute of this day. Just because it was fabulously extraordinary. I had this mindset that today would be wonderful, no matter what happened. I would have to say that nothing went as planned, but I still loved every minute of this day. I basically went through this whirlwind of emotions: extremely happy, thankful, patriotic, bubbly, sad, energetic, confused, upset, and just on top of the world. I’ve learned that just being straight up bold gives you the opportunity to discover things about a person that you might not have known and also, about yourself. And the truth really does set you free, well at least you try to think so…

I remember last year I told my Pop-Pop thank you for serving our country and Happy Veteran’s Day. I’m so thankful that I did because a lot can change in a year. Ever since I’ve turned 21, I’ve looked at things completely different. I take an extra second to look at the leaves changing, the stars in the sky, and simply just the way people smile. I soak up every sunray, laugh at every opportunity, and hug the ones that matter most. I’m so thankful for the country that I live in and the ones that served for our freedom. Without that freedom, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I have done things that people might frown upon, but I don’t regret how I’ve landed on this small piece of earth that I call, UAHuntsville. Have you ever wondered that sometimes the “mistakes” that you’ve made might just be you taking untraveled hallways in life? Sometimes the hallway might be dark and mysterious, but that only makes you even more curious on what’s farther down…and you never know what opportunity that door might present…

I imagined a beautiful scenario on how I wanted *daydreamed, should be the correct word* this day to go and I was already seeing fireworks. Like I said nothing went as planned, but in the end….it only matters who you enjoy spending your time with and whenever you go to bed, you don’t have any regrets.

The Greatest Man

Marianne Gilliam — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 02:30:03 +0000

Only a week has passed and I still think about you every day. You never realize how much you love a person until they are gone. You loved to make people smile; you always made me smile. You called me your Princess. I will miss you taking me out on “dates” and being my valentine for Valentine’s Day. You were always there for me, from my kindergarten graduation to my college graduation. You taught me that one of the most important things in life is a good education. I strive to achieve this goal because I know it would make you proud. I remember how proud you were when I got my Associate’s and that only encouraged me to continue.

You never really grasp the concept of death. You just always think they are gone on a really long vacation… You still feel them and whenever something exciting happens, you look for them to share the news. You miss being able to just simply hug them or say, “Hey, I love you.” The greatest thing about us is that I’m happily content with our relationship. I was clearly able to say “Goodbye” and that’s a rare thing these days for some people. I would always go home on the weekend, of course I had plenty of school things to do, but I don’t regret the long drive home just to spend time with you. You would always say that I was the prettiest and I would take every chance available just to give you a kiss. The perfect place would be laying right beside you in bed and just listening to you breathe. Every time there was a pause, my heart would beat faster and I would hold my breath.

I remember how you reached for my hand, you pulled it all the way up just to kiss it. That small moment means the world to me.

I remember driving that day, the fall season already put its effect on the leaves. There is nothing like the scenery in sweet home Alabama. You would have loved the drive. I remember taking long road trips whenever I was little, I would get extremely bored, but you would always tell me to look around at all the scenery.

There was a golden glow in the room from the lamp in the corner, the setting was like you were tucking in a little kid to bed and saying goodnight, except this time it was saying goodbye.
I kept thinking of the journey I just came from and how I incorporated that with death, which I just pictured it as a dead-end in the road. Suddenly a black screen would come across your path.

Sometimes silence is beautiful. This time it truly was. Although you were resting, I believe you could feel the love that surrounded you and there was so much love. You truly were the greatest man.
I love you Pop-Pop.
-Your Princess

Cold as Stone

Marianne Gilliam — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 02:41:33 +0000

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Wish I was cold as stone,
Then I wouldn’t feel a thing.
Wish I didn’t have this heart,
Then I wouldn’t know the sting of the rain.
I could stand strong and still,
Watching you walk away.
I wouldn’t hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Somehow Lady Antebellum always know exactly how I feel…

I guess life would be easier if emotions didn’t make such a heavy impact in our day-to-day routine. Maybe if you were like a robot, just wake up in the morning, go to work, go home, and repeat… Sometimes I wonder why I care so much about little things, but then I realize that it’s only human of me to feel. I wonder how moving off to college, dating, and the social aspects of life would be if I wasn’t so emotionally attached. Don’t get me wrong, I love college, but going to college and moving off to college are two totally different things. Living on campus is like your parents getting divorced. One place will always be “home” compared to the other place and one house will always have what you need, but then the other place will have some advantages. I will always love being home. I have my wonderful bed to stretch out in and I’m able to roll over without hitting my arm on the wall, my beautiful cat, fish, and dog…and then my wonderful mother is there to make me the best grilled cheese sandwich. The “shack” in Huntsville is close to civilization. I actually have cell phone service, faster internet, I can walk to my classes, and it takes less than 10 minutes to get to a Wal-mart. Actually moving away from home is practically like starting a new life. People always want the opportunity to start over and I have the perfect chance. Although starting over may seem easy, but letting go of the past is a whole new story. Of course, it’s always easy making new friends, but every now and then you tend to miss hanging out with your old ones and then the same with dating. Being emotionally attached to a person is exhausting. You tend to over analyze everything. I don’t know if it’s because “you” are brand new and exciting…I just don’t know. That’s why being “cold as stone” seems to be taking the easy way through life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueCHNLU1OjA&feature=colike

Contagion

Marianne Gilliam — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 17:40:55 +0000

This movie is amazing. Honestly, it scared the crap out of me, but it’s still a good movie. I believe that I will keep Bath&Body Works in business since I will use a whole bottle of germx every day for the rest of my life. The scary thing about this movie is that it could actually happen. Basically there is a highly contagious virus that keeps spreading throughout the globe. The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention can’t duplicate the bacteria in order to make a vaccine, so more and more people keep dying. Anyways, if you haven’t seen it…then I won’t spoil it for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sYSyuuLk5g

I believe living is…

Marianne Gilliam — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 23:51:04 +0000

Driving fast with the car windows down, the music turned up loud, and just letting the music take over your mind.

Even is the song is “We found love in a hopeless place” by Rhianna, sing it like you mean it.

Waking up at 5am for that intense spin class.

Skipping your salad and eating out with coworkers.

Reading a book that is recommended from a friend.

Spending your whole paycheck in a weekend.

Holding hands with your best guy friend.

Wearing something risqué or out-of-the-box.

Watching a late movie with a close friend on a school night.

Applying for a job that you never dreamed of getting and shockingly get it!

Turning the music up just a little bit louder and dancing in your beautiful Victoria’s Secret attire.

Staying up late texting that one special guy.

Being completely addicted to ZUMBA or anything in that matter, but just be deeply passionate about something.

Hugging and laughing a lot. A LOT.

Dreaming and dreaming BIG.

Just a quick update

Marianne Gilliam — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 13:21:11 +0000

School is hectic. Work is great. I have completely dedicated my time to the university’s fitness center. Zumba is my true passion, always and forever. The end.

Adjustments…

Marianne Gilliam — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 02:35:29 +0000

So I don’t really know what to think about the college life… I think it’s just the side effects of being homesick. This past Friday was went it hit me because I was s.t.i.l.l. on campus. Which is weird because I feel like I didn’t have a life or something since it’s the weekend and I was still at school! I decided to do some laundry, which I had to run to Wal-Mart for some detergent. I got some more essentials like Toilet paper, cereal, and some milk. Of course, I bought the miniature size of everything…which all the cute little stuff is adorable (it’s a thought process you always go through whenever you look at baby clothes and miniature coke cans) but now the smallness is just a sad reminder that it’s just me. Whenever you are between boyfriends you always go through the panic stage where you question the thought of “finding the right one” and you just figure that he doesn’t exist and you will live the rest of your life alone….buying the miniature sizes of everything. Which whenever you are alone, you totally think about things differently…like how much you’re going to spend on food or do you really have to buy name brand stuff when the Wal-Mart brand is just as good? I used to get the Charmin toilet paper, but now I get the really cheap kind and you know what? There really isn’t a difference… Now when Mom and I are grocery shopping, I don’t demand the high price stuff because it’s silly to waste money on just a brand. Silly how I’ve learned all this with just a week living on campus!

Welcome to the New Life of…

Marianne Gilliam — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 18:26:54 +0000

A transfer student to the wonderful UAHuntsville! I have moved to the glorious city of Huntsville and yes, I finally have cell phone service! I am living on campus in a studio suite where I have a huge room&bathroom all to myself. I was kinda bummed about not having roommates, but ever since I watched the movie Water for Elephants I’ve been through an elephant phase. I bought a ton of decorations for the bathroom and I was worried about how I was going to fit all of it on half the counter top in the bathroom. Then I was upgraded to a studio, so I was being optimistic and thought that at least now I can put all my decorations up and not feel like I’m hogging the bathroom! I love the ability to walk to all my classes and not have to worry about a parking spot! I have a foreign finance teacher and I can’t understand him that well, so that’s awesome….. my business communication class is definitely out of my element. Other than that….I can tell this semester is going to be a blast! I have rush next week! I can’t wait to finally get letters! This past week has been amazing. There have been a million WOW (Week of Welcome) events and one of them was a Jason Derulo concert! Heck yes!

A few things that I learned during the week….
Bring your Charger Card e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
Don’t bring a Juicy Juice box into the Cafe
Watch out for people riding their bikes…dangerous
Pedestrians are treated like royalty here
Walking takes longer than you think
Mandatory floor meetings are really cool
Free t-shirts are awesome, but who didn’t know that?
Always hang out with the R.A.s because they usually have the big screen tvs
that’s pretty much it…..oh and GO CHARGERS!

The 7 Deadly Sins of Facebook

Marianne Gilliam — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 18:14:16 +0000

*from a guy’s prospective

1. Getting All CIA On Us
“I hate it when women turn into ‘spies’ and go digging into your older posts/pictures trying to find dirt, and then ask you about the women they don’t know. It’s as if they’re trying to catch you in some secret affair! Look, if it’s out there for you/all too see, I’m obviously not hiding anything!”
— Mike, 32

2. Making That Duck Face
“I cannot stand when women post thousands of goofy faced pictures — especially that fake puckered lips pose. It’s sooooo fake. Whatever happened to smiling?”
— Cameron, 30

3. Opening The Vault
“No one wants to know how closely your life resembles the Jerry Springer show. Keep all those ugly details to yourself, please!”
— Daniel, 34

4. Writing Man-Hating Status Updates
“It’s a huge downer when women vent about men in their status updates — how we’re all liars and cheaters. It’s just not true! Cut it out, already!”
— Al, 25

5. Posting Self-Portrait Albums
“I find it really lame when a girl has nothing but pictures of herself on her profile. It makes me think she has no friends. It seems kind of pathetic, and seriously vain.”
— Raul, 24

6. Doing Premature Relationship Publicity
“This one girl I was hooking up with changed her main profile picture to be a picture of the two of us together. It was way too soon — and I was still dating other girls, who had a lot of questions after that!”
— Mike, 27

7. Showing “Artsy” Pictures
“What’s with girls posting pictures of their feet these days? Who wants to see gross toes in a picture of a nice pool or an ocean? It makes zero sense.”
— Jesse, 28

*Found this on MSN and thought I would share!

Just a Dream

Marianne Gilliam — Mon, 23 May 2011 03:58:33 +0000

Every girl has a vision of that perfect day. A fairytale they start dreaming of since childhood, whenever they first watched Cinderella. The day when Prince Charming sweeps you off your feet and vows a happily ever after. What girl doesn’t want to be forever loved? As I ponder the question of ever finding that magical person to spend forever with, I think back to a time when my dream almost came true. I would wake up to the bright morning sun in my face and just glare at my ring as the sunshine would hit it at just the right spot. The act of engagement was still a shock to me that even my mother would remind me to soak in the moment and be happy. I remember the touch of the fabric, the sparkle of rhinestone, the elegance of pearls, the long train flowing behind me, and lastly…the veil gently covering my shoulders…my wedding dress. A memory only my mother and I can share together. For weeks a white bag would cover the most beautiful gown as it would hang up in my room. Often times I would get it out and try it on, only to imagine that one day I would truly be a princess. Slowly the plans were coming together. The bridesmaids dresses were in and the bouquets were made. The wedding cake was already ordered and the photographer had his down payment. The unity candle was dedicated to the song “From this Moment” by Shania Twain. A friend of mine had that song in her wedding shortly after my summer romance and I remember a wave of emotion came over me as I realized reality. A flashback of our first date, swimming at the lake, meeting his parents, riding with the top down in his car and my hair blowing in my face, and the magical night by the lake when it was sunset and he asked me to spend forever with him…there was a shooting star that night and now I question the luck behind the myth. Lastly I remember giving him the ring back, replacing it with my class ring. Fresh out of high school, I was both extremely young and naive. Looking back I value all those arguments, nights I spent crying, and even heartbreak…because I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for all of that. Sometimes I imagine how my life would be if I did end up marrying him. Where I would live, what dinner I would be cooking, and how many hours would be consumed with cleaning and being a house wife? Today I proudly can say that I have graduated college with two associate’s degrees and about to transfer to UAH. I have an amazing boyfriend in which we have spent more than a year together. He makes me happy and sometimes frustrated, but that’s how life is and I love every minute! I can’t imagine spending my time with anybody but my German boy, but the question of happily forever after is still too soon to tell. We have a fabulous trip coming up in a few weeks! Germany, Vienna, Paris, Israel, and Italy! A fresh, new college experience in August and for the first time in 21 years, I will be living in a different city. Gosh, whenever I think about how my life has broadened since that one summer 3 years ago, I am flabbergasted by how much one person can change their life totally around. As the song “Just a Dream” by Carrie Underwood plays, I think of how much the lyrics told a story that one point in my life, but now I no longer feel sorry for the girl I used to be…because I AM living my happily ever after.